EPISODE 6 REVIEW: Moon

Moon - 2009

Director: Duncan Jones

Starring: Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey

You know that feeling when you’re chillin’ on the couch, relaxed, got a drink in front of you, it’s a perfect temperature in the living room and you’re just feeling good and then someone comes and stabs you in the eye? Yeah. That was Moon. A film that felt like it could be a cinematic masterpiece that you could just get completely wrapped up in, but instead decided to play out like a crappy television show that got canceled early and tried desperately to cram the rest of its entire story in the last few episodes. The first half and second half of this movie looked like the before and after of a writer’s strike and I’m not sure if I should feel sad or pissed off. Because it’s more fun, I’m going to pick pissed off.

Moon was written by Hollywood newcomer Duncan Jones, who’s also writing the Warcraft movie (suckers) and directed the absolutely amazing Source Code. I was excited for this movie. Everything about the trailer made it seem like I was in for some daring space drama about a man who’d been alone on the moon for 3 years with a talking computer all 2001: A Space Odyssey style. Kevin Spacey as the computer, Sam Rockwell as Crew Member #1. Now that could have made for a really gripping thriller especially when Sam finds a live body on the moon that looks exactly like him and interacts with it like it’s really there! Is something crazy going on? Maybe Sam’s suffering from dementia? Maybe there’s some company conspiracy going on from the mining company he works for? So much opportunity! So many questions! …That are all answered in a 2 minute exposition midway through the film. Fuck. You.

But I can play that game too and give away what should have been an ending and then continue despite the fact that from this point on everything is literally meaningless. 5 fucking dustbusters. You get half credit because half of your movie was worth watching.

Half of the movie was Sam alone with the computer (though, a completely wasted effort by Kevin Spacey that is along the lines of Peter Dinklage’s Dinklebot from Destiny. Nothing really fun or exciting, just read the lines and go home. Here’s a paycheck, thanks Kevin). Half of the movie felt desolate, isolated, like any change was going to be a great mystery, similar to how space exploration is now. I appreciated that! Effects were gorgeous, the all-white everything made the interior of the station feel bigger and thus, made Sam seem smaller. Sounds boomed through the speakers because there were literally no others there so it was almost unnerving. There were some good choices made here!

So many things you can say about this
shot! Pick your dumbest one.
That's what happened.

And Sam was perfect, exactly what I wanted. He can play professionally paranoid incredibly well. For a good long while, I felt like he was going mad. This film could have kept the mystery of why he was interacting with a likeness of himself and not given anything away ‘til the very end (in SO MANY WAYS) and the same exact performance that was given would have been able to sell it. I’m frustrated here because I’m not going to give it away even though your laziest guess is probably right. And if it isn’t and you watch this movie, there’s no doubt you’ll say “yeah, that would have been my second guess.”

I swear, if M. Night Shyamalan made a movie that wasn’t supposed to have an actual twist…this would be it. It was horribly lazy, explored nothing, baited you with this awesome trailer and switched you with this just…lifeless…crap that tried so desperately to leave you feeling like something good happened or there was some sort of closure to Sam’s story. Critics praised this movie because it apparently kept you guessing. They probably left when I wanted to turn this off.

GERTY just finished watching
Moon too.

And for those of you who have been reading and asking “why have I not given the name of Sam Rockwell’s character this whole review,” I’m going to spoil something for you. SHOCKER! Sam Rockwell’s character is named Sam also! Oooohhhhhh! Take that M. Night Shyamalan plot twist! Honestly though, like this review ends with something incredibly stupid and trivial, please know that Moon ended in way that was infinitely worse. This conclusion won’t be completely ruining someone’s life soon.

Goodnight Moon. You suck.